Is it too clichéd to say this year has ‘flown by’? I honestly don’t know where the time has gone or what has happened to my burgeoning film career. I remember 2013 being fairly steady as far as productions went but, this year, not so much.
I don’t like it.
I’m very eager to get myself into a full time paying job in film/tv production (imagine NOT being tied to a desk!) but I’m just not going about it the right way. Regardless, career or no career, I would still like to be working on indie projects. I like the chaos and sense of urgency that comes with filming. I like having a reason to build a new spreadsheet and create to-do lists.
So, what am I doing wrong?
Honestly, I think I got a bit complacent this year. Last year (2013) saw a lot of new projects that promised continued work but, as happens, they’ve fizzled (temporarily or otherwise). I remember, this time last year, I was thinking about writing, producing and directing my own short film (also known as “biting off more than you can chew”) but that didn’t happen. Part of it is because I’m pressuring myself to come up with the perfect story and the perfect script (easy to shoot, minimal locations, etc.) and, really, that doesn’t exist. At the end of the day though, that’s just an excuse not to try.
Pictured: curmudgeonly critic. Not pictured: pink tutu and pompoms
I need to strangle my inner critic.
The little bugger haunts my every step and decision as if they are the very air he breathes. When I can get him to be quiet, I’m actually able to accomplish things and it’s a very nice feeling. I think I just need to put him in a tutu and give him some pompoms. After all, who says curmudgeons can’t be positive occasionally?
It’s time to get to work.
I’m getting old, man! I have a limited shelf life and I want to spend the rest of it doing something I love, not just earning a pay cheque. Besides, those ‘what-ifs’ can get boring after a while.
Strangely, I’m actually finding writing this post is motivating for me (I never really know why I write these things but at least this one has a purpose!). For 2015 I’m gonna hit the ground running and make sure I’m not repeating all of this again next December.
Happy New Year to all of you! Let’s kick this next year outta’ the park!
Photo credit: gagilas / iWoman / CC BY-SA
